Who needs Black Friday? It’s “Oral Services” Pappy Saturday!

That’s right, if you live in New Jersey or New York, this Craigslist poster is willing to reach a lick-laden deal for your bottle of Pappy Van Winkle, saying “the older the year, the more effort I’ll put into it.” He or she may be joking (I can’t tell), adding: “I won’t consume it just like I won’t suck you off for Pappy. I will, however, pay you enough cash so you can find a proper professional to do that. Or take your wife/girlfriend out to a nice dinner and maybe you’ll get lucky.”

Whether this guy or gal is off their rocker or truly meant his parenthetical notation of “cash only,” this is a new low for the  Pappy Van Winkle demand. What’s next, somebody’s going to steal cases from the Buffalo Trace Distillery? Oh, wait, that already happened.